Tuesday, October 06, 2009

London Culture, Linear Algebra, and Loads of Food

Alright, haven't written here in a while: Guess its time for another update in the life of AustinLostinLondon.

Things I've noticed about London thus far:

- Their entire population may be wiped out within the next 50 years. I'm not talking about plague, apocalypse, or swine flu. I'm talking about an entire country dying of one thing. Something that is unavoidable to these people, yet at the same time completely and utterly avoidable. It's like your first visit to the In-Laws. You could avoid it, but why try when you know its gotta happen sooner or later? Only these parents are really far away and actually don't want to meet you at all, so you really don't have to go there. London: you don't not have to go there. London - you don't have to get this disease, this plague, this death-bearing curse: London you are in danger of... Lung Cancer.


They haven't apparently figured out cigarettes are terrible for your health, turn your teeth yellow, and make your breath smell like you've stuck your bloody head in a chimney for hours on end. Its kinda like Sex-Panther: you think its a turn on, makes you look cool, but in the end, it really just makes you smell of a mixture of dirty diapers and Indian food.

I'm giving London 50 years.

(for those reading and don't know my humor - I'm kidding... kinda...)

- Mayonaise: it's literally on everything everywhere. Sandwich? Mayo. Chips? Mayo. Toast? Mayo. Children?... Mayoooo....

Beware of the Mayo.

- They're much more reserved. They're very calm. They're very shy. At parties, they'll have a drink, but will hardly dance.

I am not.

Example: My first day in my new dorm.
*in the shower - I hear someone walk into the stall next to me*
Me: Hello!
Him: ... Hi?
Me: How are you today?
Him: ... Good...
Me: ... I'm sorry, but is it impolite to talk to someone in the shower here?
Him ... ummmm... Yes...
Me: Oh, sorry. I'm from America.
Him: Aaaahhhhhhhh....

I apparently live up to the stereotype of loud, outgoing American. It's like mixing Groucho Marx with the Little Boy from the Sixth Sense - it's just not workin'.

- They know more about our politics than we do. Obama is on the cover of so many major news magazines its absurd, and I've received more questions about Obama and his plans for America than I have about American movies, stars, or pop culture, what tends to headline many major news stations in America. Even worse, I've also realized Americans really don't know ANYONE else's leaders either. Do you know who this guy is? Yeah. Gordon Brown. Still don't know? HE'S THE PRIME MINISTER OF THE UK! I'm in the country and I had no idea who he was. I could have done something really stupid in front of the Prime Minister and been completely unaware of the fact. I mean, I could have tripped over my shoes and not known who I had done it in front of. I could have punted a baby and not known who was watching. I could have walked up to the column at a church and... well... that's for another time... point is: America I've realized is very central oriented. Perhaps we should change this?

Other things of note that happened to me this week:

- I showed up to Linear Algebra without my glasses. Luckily for me, the screen was digitial and ALL the way at the top, not to mention I was stuck in the far left corner of the classroom. Yeah. I sat in a 3-hour lecture of Linear Algebra trying to take notes orally. And if you don't think its difficult, you try listening to "And the set v w with v w subsets of V and v w not equal to epsilon is linearly independent unless vector w is equal to theta dot v for some theta subset F" and see if you can write that out.

- I've been cooking myself food. Nonetheless, you would think I would try and culture myself while in England. well... Fish and Chips is about the extent of food culturing so far. List of items I bought at the grocery store today:
- Mac n Cheese
- Pizza
- Granola Bars
- Cheese Sticks
- Honey Nut Cherrios
- Oven Baked Chicken
- Fish and Chips
- Chicken Noodle Soup
- Milk
- Apple Juice
- Cookies
... and I'm just realizing now I forgot to buy fruit... or anything remotely healthy for that matter... I'm so coming back to the states malnourished like this kid...

... okay not that bad...

Seriously - give to Africa.

Well, that's all the time I have for now. Until next time!

- AustinLostinLondon

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